Je me blesse... (part 2)

Je me blesse... part 2, I hope you lot enjoy reading this. I enjoyed seeing I got about 27 views on the first part already. Just a little warning if you can't really handle depressed fics, I would stop reading because this fic will get extremly depressing (well that's the plan atleast) - Ruby
"Je suis à la recherche d'un avenir sans erreurs" Niall sighed deeply. "Pensez-vous que vous allez le trouver?" Harry asked intrested. Liam felt kinda left out at this point, he didn't know why Harry didn't just transalate what they said. "Non pas vraiment, mais c'est la seule chose que j'espère pour." Niall replied sadly. "la vie est mauvaise, n'est-ce pas?." Harry sighed. "Oui." Niall nodded, sighing too. Harry and Liam both hugged Niall, seeing the sad look on his face. They really wanted to help him, but Niall just wouldn't let them. 


Niall thought about Sean a lot. The whole love for French music he had developped was something he and Sean had always shared. Maintenant je suis seul... Niall thought, it was true because although Harry was terribly well at French, he had never really liked French music. C'est bon, Niall sighed to himself, je suis habitué à être seul. 


Niall had gotten himself a tattoo for his birthday, the only present he had accepted. It read mon ange in beautiful letters. It reminded Niall of Sean, and now everytime he looked at his wrist he thought of his lost love. 


"Niall could you please talk English to me?" Liam asked annoyed when Niall started to talk French while their shared breakfast. "Sorry. Habit." Niall fake-laughed. The boys ate in silence for awhile. "It's been six months already." Niall suddenly said. "since...??" Liam asked. Niall sent Liam an absolute dead glare, "since Sean's death." Then Niall stormed off emotionally and hurt. 


"Merde tous." Niall screamed, he had turned the shower on and stepped inside so nobody would hear him. Then he repeated the same sentence over and over again, "Je veux mourir." untill he felt nothing inside anymore


TBC




je me blesse = I am hurting/I am hurt
Je suis à la recherche d'un avenir sans erreurs = I am looking for a future without errors
Pensez-vous que vous allez le trouver? = Do you think you will find it?
Non pas vraiment, mais c'est la seule chose que j'espère pour = No not really, but it's the only thing I hope for.
la vie est mauvaise, n'est-ce pas? = Life is bad, isn't it?
Oui = Yes.
Maintenant je suis seul = Now I'm alone.

C'est bon, je suis habitué à être seul = It's okay, I am used to being lonely.
Mon ange = my angel
merde tous = damn them all
je veux mourir = I wanna die

Je me blesse... (part 2 // preview)

Here's a small preview of part 2 of Je me blesse..., I hope you like it, please leave me some feedback at my formspring page (you can send anonymous messages there, if you prefer that) - Ruby


"Je suis à la recherche d'un avenir sans erreurs" Niall sighed deeply. "Pensez-vous que vous allez le trouver?" Harry asked intrested. Liam felt kinda left out at this point, he didn't know why Harry didn't just transalate what they said. "Non pas vraiment, mais c'est la seule chose que j'espère pour." Niall replied sadly. "la vie est mauvaise, n'est-ce pas?." Harry sighed. "Oui." Niall nodded, sighing too. Harry and Liam both hugged Niall, seeing the sad look on his face. They really wanted to help him, but Niall just wouldn't let them. 




Je suis à la recherche d'un avenir sans erreurs = I am looking for a future without errors
Pensez-vous que vous allez le trouver? = Do you think you will find it?
Non pas vraiment, mais c'est la seule chose que j'espère pour = No not really, but it's the only thing I hope for.
la vie est mauvaise, n'est-ce pas? = Life is bad, isn't it?
Oui = Yes.

Je me blesse... (part 1)

This piece of fanfiction is partially me dealing with just having lost somebody that meant a lot to me, and partially my obsession with Jena Lee's music. There will be quite a lot french in this fanfiction but my French isn't that well, so please forgive me if it fails. Also I'll put transalations of the french at the end of each part (assuming I'll make this multi-chaptered ofcourse, I don't know that yet) Please enjoy, and feedback would be nice :) - Ruby


'Je pars...' Was all Niall's text message read. Ever since Sean's death the Irish boy hadn't been quite the same. The two words Niall had sent worried Liam more than anything. It reminded him of a music video by Jena Lee Niall kept watching, je me perds the song was called. Liam tried to call Niall but the blonde didn't bother to awnser his phone. Liam let out a deep sigh. If Niall would continue to say things that mattered in French Liam should really work on his French.

Much later...


"Niall where were you?!" Liam quickly asked when his best friend walked in, pulling the slightly younger boy into a tight hug. Niall gave back some kind of half hug and mumbled something about the beach. Liam bit his lip, "Could you write something more than je pars next time?" he softly asked. Niall just shrugged, "mes envies sont noires." he whispered. "What does that even mean?!" Liam asked, he was getting kind of irritated with Niall constant use of French. Niall just smiled darkly at Liam and let himself slide down the wall onto the floor. "You wanna know?" the blonde smirked. "Yes!" Liam said frustrated. "Then you should learn French." Niall laughed amused by himself.
"Honestly Niall, tell me what you feel." Liam pleaded. Niall looked up at Liam, "Mon bonheur a tué une part de moi, mon amour a tué une part de moi. Je me perds, je me blesse. Aide-moi." Niall looked fragile, but also pleased knowing Liam didn't understand what he had said. "I'll ask Harry to transalate." Liam stated. Niall smiled but he didn't really like that thought.

If Liam knew how Niall felt he'd try to help, Niall would have to let people get close to him again and that scared Niall. Niall was so damn scared of losing someone he loved again, like he had lost Sean. He never wanted to go through that same pain again. He feared that if he loved again, he would have to. He didn't dare to do that to himself, he would hurt himself in any other way, but not in that way.

Everybody had always thought Niall and Sean were just bestfriend, but the two Irish lads had been so much more than that. They had loved eachother so much, and Niall still blamed himself for not being able to be there when Sean had needed him the most. Niall regretted ever joining the x-factor, if he hadn't done that things would have turned out so differently. He atleast would've been there, but no Niall was touring while Sean fought cancer. Niall hated himself for that.

At first Sean had been strong enough and had won from the cancer, then it came back, Niall had been there that time and Sean won again. The third time however, Sean lost, Niall had been there but he still blamed himself for everything.

TBC

je me blesse = I am hurting
je pars = I leave
mes envies sont noires = my desires are dark/black.
Mon bonheur a tué une part de moi = My happiness has killed a part of me.
Mon amour a tué une part de moi = My love has killed a part of me.
Je me perds = I am losing myself.
Aide-moi = Help me.

"Niall it'll be fine." Liam said squeezing his boyfriends hands. Niall swallowed. "I'm scared Liam." he said softly. "I'm sure it'll be fine." Liam said, his voice sounding convincing, but inside he was just as scared. They walked into the room where their friends had gattered. "So what's this meeting all about?" Zayn asked bored. Liam swallowed then he took Niall's hand. "me and Niall are togheter." he said. Zayn looked at Liam, then at Niall and then at the two boys hands. "You kidding right?" Zayn asked. Niall shook his head. "No." Liam said, tightning his grip. "Okay then I'm outta here. stupid fags." Zayn said and then he left, but right before he walked outside the door he pushed Niall on the floor, causing his nose to bleed. Niall started to cry. Liam held him tightly. "it's his loss really." Louis said, whilst Harry got some napkins for Niall's nose. "just know that me and Haz will always support you both." Louis said. Liam placed a soft kiss on Niall's cheek. "See Niall," he said, "It'll be alright because if people don't accept us they don't reallly matter."

Preview of an attempt at a small fanfic, it's not very good as I usually write slash and now I'm trying not to and it's just not that great. -Ruby


"I'd love to tell you what my heart wants." Khloe swallowed and looked at Niall, "but I don't have the words." "I understand Khloe. You love him, he's been a big part of your life and now he's gone. I understand that it's hard." Niall swallowed, he put his arms around the fragile girl. She bit her lip, "I want to forget him, erase him from my mind," she started to cry, "just so I could give everything to you in a better way."

The uploading from old fanfics is done. Please leave request, slash or non-slash and I'll write it.
Also I still had a request open from tumblr and I'll try to write that.

- Ruby

Love me for me part 8

this is the last chapter, but it kinda really sucks, I apologize for that -Ruby

6 months later…

“Me and Harry are back togheter.” Niall stated. “Why?” Liam asked, a little hurt. “Because he’s said he’s changed.” Niall mumbled. “He’ll do it all again and you know it.” Liam stated. “he says he won’t.” Niall protested. 

3 weeks later…

“H-harry broke up with me.” Niall cried. Liam wrapped his arms around Niall. It was the first of many times this ort of situation would happen.

6 months later…

“Liam.” Niall said. “Yes Niall?” Liam replied. “There’s gonna be a time that Harry asks me back, and then I won’t be his anymore, i’ll belong to someone else.” Niall said with teary eyes. Then he and Liam kissed.

-the end-