When all you wanted was to be wanted.

Niall knew he had made mistakes back in Ireland, lots of them. He didn’t feel the particular need to tell his bandmates, but if they ever found out and asked him about it he wouldn’t deny that he had made them.

Most of the things he did where because they told him it was fun, and Niall thought if they thought it was that it probably would be. He wanted them to like him, and when they said that they’d teach him how to a good time, he let them, even though it wasn’t who he really was.

They made him do things he absolutely hated, things he never thought he’d do. Now Niall regretted most of it. In a way X-factor had saved him, the boys had saved him, otherwise he’d probably still follow them around like a puppy.

Niall wanted to be wanted, he always felt that need ever since he was young. Now he regretted it so much, he wished he could turn back time, and undo the things he did. He wish he could tell himself what he knew now. He’d tell himself that he was wanted now. That he had real friends, friends that would never make him do things he didn’t want to do. He’d tell himself he fell in love, that everything was better now. He’d say that it doesn’t matter that he likes guys. That it’s alright, that things worked out. That he needn’t do those things, that the things he did were wrong, that they were using him all along. That he’ll be the one laughing in the end.

A time machine isn’t invented yet, so Niall just has to live with the things he’s done, but he knows he’s not with the wrong crowd anymore.

When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now.